Loved by Littles...

Taken by Max (age 8)

I am 30 weeks, 4 days and these are Eden & Tommy's hands.

Our Beautiful Baby Girl's 3D/4D

Caught with her hand to her mouth--so cute!

Kara's foot pressing against Mommy.
Her hands are so perfect!

Here is Kara's face. No cleft lip! Fingers curled around her cord.

She looks concerned here. She likes to keep her hands over her face.

We were so excited to get a 3D/4D ultrasound of Kara Faith on Monday! She looked so beautiful! We were all surprised at how wonderful all of her features appear. The doctors kept saying her eyes were small, but on ultrasound they look proportionate even though she kept them closed (which is normal). Kara has no cleft lip and a cute little chin! We did confirm that she has one nostril--I'm just happy for that! The opening appears to be large enough for an airway, but we won't know until she is born. She is doing a great job of "practice breathing" which we saw on this ultrasound, too! Pray for no airway difficulties at the time of her birth. We are so very thankful to God that Kara looks so good! (I am thinking she looks like her big brother, Dan, but we'll see in January!)

The tech was a little nervous because we brought Celeste, Dan, & Max with us to the appointment. She asked if they were prepared. She had only seen pictures in journals of HPE babies. You could tell she was quite surprised and happy to see Kara looking so wonderful!

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." Psalm 139:13-16

28 Week Check-Up

I went to see Dr. Duff at Shands yesterday. Kara Faith looks great on ultrasound! Dr. Duff said, "Look, there's some hair." Sure enough you could see an edge of fuzz on her head. I got a quick glimpse of one of her ears, too. Her weight has come up. They are estimating her at 2 pounds, 9 ounces which puts her in the 47%. She was moving all round and had her legs crossed. She looked just beautiful!!


Our only concern currently is that I am carrying extra amniotic fluid (already). The report did say I do have polyhydramnios. I am measuring 31 weeks and I am 28. It's just over the normal limit right now, but prayer would be appreciated for this particular issue. I feel bigger in the last few days and my belly has been hurting some, so this must be why. I have measured as much as 6 weeks ahead in a couple past pregnancies, but that evened out later. I am currently taking insulin in 3 injections a day and testing blood sugars 4 times per day. My sugars have been very good. I think the hardest part for me right now is to eat when I'm not hungry or to drink when I have heartburn. All in all, I'm just happy that Kara looks great and I am almost recovered from my bout with the flu! We have a 3D/4D ultrasound scheduled for this Monday, November 16th--can't wait! I'll put pics up from that. We didn't get any this time.

A little update

Just a little update:

~I am sick with a coughing, achy virus. I am hoping I don't develop a fever or ear infection to go with it... Please pray for quick healing.
~I see Dr. Duff November 10th for a check-up which includes an u/s to check Kara's growth and my amniotic fluid levels. I will be in my 28th week then.
~We have a 3D/4D ultrasound scheduled on November 16th thanks to Dr. Marichal!!!

I am enjoying the cooler days. This is the "boring" part of pregnancy and I love it! Kara moves a lot and I am enjoying the baby belly, too. I hope to get some pictures done in the next few weeks. Thank you for your prayers! They keep me calm and comforted.

A Place for Kara...

"In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also."

John 14: 2-3

Alone with my thoughts at 6 o'clock in the morning is not always a good thing... I started thinking about the fear I have. Yes, I am afraid. I have never come home from the hospital without a baby. Not only this, but I will probably never come home with Kara. I am trying to treasure the moments I have with Kara and focus on the good gifts from my Father above. I am afraid. Afraid that when I get home my arms will be empty and aching for my little girl. My heart will be at a loss. Will this crush me? I pray not. I fear the hormonal changes and the demands of my large family. I want to be a good mother to my children... Who will care for me during my recovery from major surgery? Who will help me care for my children? I have been told not to "borrow trouble" from the future. I am praying that God would order things in His way and that these concerns would be answered perfectly. Of this I am confident, that God is preparing a place for Kara and that in His timing she will be with Him. I will see her again some glorious day.

I contacted a photographer from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep foundation. I am hoping they can come do photos of me pregnant soon. Then maybe we can do another session closer to her birth, but sometimes these babies come early and I want to be prepared for that. Pray that Kara Faith would stay healthy in her secret place and that fluid levels would remain normal. Your prayers are what is holding me together. I know it!

Things New

Here Kara is showing off her profile. Her hand up there cast a shadow across the bottom of her little face.

Yes, we are sure she's a GIRL!

We met with our new OB, Dr. Duff, this past Tuesday. God has blessed us with a very kind man for a doctor. We went over our diagnosis and what we were want to do for Kara. Dr. Duff is going to take very good care of me and Kara Faith. I am sure. He will be seeing me every 2-3 weeks and then we'll go to every week near the end of December. We have a C Section tentatively scheduled for January 25th. It's a Monday... I am hoping maybe we can move it up a few days because it's easier to get someone to help with our 7 other children over a weekend. I'm trying not to borrow "trouble" from the future, but we are going to need a lot of help. I am praying that God will provide all the answers. I am thankful He has arranged everything perfectly so far!

I major concern I am having is my blood sugars. Dr. Duff added regular insulin to my regimen, but I am having a little trouble with that. I "crashed" yesterday morning, so we are going to have to play with the doses and times, most likely. Also, my fastings have not come down significantly. Please pray for this to all stabilize. I am taking the dose I took at the END of my last pregnancy.

Please pray for Kara Faith's health. She is looking good on ultrasound and her growth is right on for how far along I am. We got the best profile picture yet! I am at a point of peace in my pregnancy and enjoying it.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Jeremiah 29:11 KJV

Seeing our new OB today

We are going in this afternoon to meet our new OB, Dr. Duff. Please pray for a good report and that things will go well with him. I am nervous because everything is new now. I think he is going to do another ultrasound, so I hope to have a picture or two to share. I have really been wanting a profile shot, but we haven't been able to get a good one. I'll be reporting back in...

He Answers Prayer: A Praise Report

This week has been a turning point. On Wednesday, Dr. Morse (a neonatologist with Shands) called me personally and spoke with me about Kara's care and my pregnancy. He agrees that it would be in her/our best interest to transfer my care to Shands where there is a NICU. The exciting news?!? Dr. Morse will be the Doctor who is attending/on call when Kara's delivery is planned in January!! Also, I was referred over to Dr. Duff who was highly recommended by my OB, my pediatrician, and several friends. Evidently, it is very difficult to get in to see him. My OB had to make a personal call. I have an appointment with him on October 13th!! God has seen fit to arrange my prenatal care with the best (Christian) doctors. I am so thankful! I have no doubt that the prayers lifted up for Kara and I are being heard by my Heavenly Father.

Kara is becoming more active and you can see little "kicks" from the outside now. I have been having lots of headaches (some are migraines) lately and have been very tired at times.

Pray for:
~my health--gestational diabetes stays in check and my insulin needs don't increase much more
that my headaches go away
that I would not let the enemy discourage me in ANY way
~Kara--that she would continue to grow
that she would be able to be delivered at full term (38-39 weeks)
that amniotic fluid levels would remain normal
Her life, that she would be with us at least several days...
~Our family--that they would be able to walk through this and see evidence of God's grace and
and feel his comfort. I pray this draws us closer to one another in His Name.

Psalm 86:1-7

"Incline your ear, O Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.

Preserve my life, for I am godly;

save your servant, who trusts in you—you are my God.

Be gracious to me, O Lord, for to you do I cry all the day.

Gladden the soul of your servant, for to you, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.

For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving,

abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you.

Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer; listen to my plea for grace.

In the day of my trouble I call upon you, for you answer me."

Appointment Tomorrow

Psalm 121 has encouraged me lately. Especially this part, "From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth." I'm concentrating on that right now!

We have another appointment with my favorite OB, Dr. Marichal, tomorrow. After meeting with the neonatologist at Shands last week, we are probably moving my care over to Shands. They told us that Shands is better suited to care for Kara's needs and to help us afterwards. It makes me sad in a lot of ways. I'm trusting in God to direct my steps and will be giving updates. Kara is moving a lot inside me lately and soon, hopefully, Stuart will be able to feel those kicks from the outside.

Also, I am needing increasing insulin and we need to adjust my levels. I will be talking about that with Dr. Marichal tomorrow. I have never been on it this early in pregnancy and I even lost 20 pounds before I conceived Kara, so please pray that things would level out and this would not present/create any problems for myself or our sweet baby. Thank you!

Kara's 22 week Ultrasound Report

Top--all curled up in a ball. Bottom--sweet hand and forearm.

This is copied from a note I posted on Facebook because this momma to 7 is tired and battled headaches for the past 4 days, so forgive me...

In response to were we able to see Kara's face...

Yes, her eyes are very small. (I don't know what that means, but she does have them.) She does have a nose, but we couldn't see if there were two nostrils. We saw one for sure. He also said he didn't see a cleft lip, but the actual palate is harder to see. Her head is very flat at the forehead. Her heart looks great and he mentioned he thought one of her kidneys was a little large, but later retracted the statement. So everything else looks good. Amniotic fluid was right on and she was measuring 21 weeks 3 days and I'm 21 weeks 5 days. She is right on. Dr. Richards wants to see me again in 6 weeks because he wants to watch the fluid levels. He says we can see him or Dr. Duff at the Magnolia Park offices and he recommend that we come over to Shands b/c NFL cannot handle what we want to do for her. He called it "more aggressive" treatment. What he considers comfort care is the baby is born and they give her to you and you feed her if she's hungry--otherwise I guess you just let her go. We want a little more intervention than that. He said the babies that he had delivered with this condition didn't live long. I said, "Days?," and he nodded in agreement. Maybe Kara will be the one that will WOW him. Yes, our Father in Heaven has numbered her days and they will be what they will be. I have peace today, but am feeling some sadness... I was also told that even though Shands typically have semi-private rooms, there are some private ones and we would be in a private room. That was reassuring. So I suppose things are falling into place. Dr. Richards was just fine with us today and I was not offended with anything he said. They got us in to see a neonatalogist at the NICU this Friday. The only problem is that Stu has a cold, so I don't know that he can go up there... The appt. is at 1 on Friday.

Also, I am so very thankful that Donnie and Chris Tuttle came and prayed over our baby yesterday. We take great encouragement and I am feeling peace from the prayers that are offered over Kara and for her.

My Little Star

I just had this thought, sweet Kara. You are my little star... One day you will be perfect in the Heavenlies.
I chose lavender as your color because your big sissie, Eden, is a pink girl. And now a little star I keep close to my heart... Click on the Twinkle, Twinkle music at the bottom of the page... I'm going to bed now.

So lift your eyes

To the things as yet unseen,

That will remain now

For all eternity.

Though trouble's hard,

It's only momentary

And it's achieving

Our future glory.

(There is a Day by Phatfish)

Precious Pictures

Kara's heart rate was 157 bpm. Here she is curled up.
Kara's hand giving us the "thumbs up." (It's okay in here, Mom and Dad!)
Kara was upside down, so we didn't get to see her face. Next time!

Kara (and mommy) had a pretty good check-up today with Dr. M. First of all, I'm on insulin now once a day. I was having issues after lunch and dinner and my fasting sugars were slowly creeping upward. I only gained 2 pounds this month, too. On ultrasound Kara looked good and appears to be growing appropriately--Praise the Lord! To me, her head looked the same as before, but God is moving and answered some specific prayers that we have been praying. Dr. M. is setting up a consult with a neonatologist, Dr. Morse, for us. We are hoping to have this coincide with our next ultrasound appointment at Shands on the 23rd. (It's okay if it doesn't.) Then Dr. Morse will make a recommendation on where we should deliver Kara to best serve her--N FL or Shands. Also, we have been told there is a wonderful high risk OB at Shands (Dr. Duff ) that could take over my care if we go there. On my way home I dropped by the grocery and ran into my awesome pediatrician. She uses this doctor and loves him, too. By the way, he's a Christian. God is SO good! Dr. M. was so wonderful and there was a lot of prayer answered today for us. I was not discouraged at all by anything that was said. We are so thankful! I still feel the covering in prayer from everyone regarding Kara.

"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Mark 11:24

Faithful Friend

My good friend, Chris Tuttle, has felt moved by God to pray over Kara Faith. She specifically wants to pray before our doctor visits that involve ultrasound. I am so thankful she came over this evening to lay hands on me and pray for Kara's healing, myself, Stuart, and our family. Chris said this, "Thank you.... for allowing me to come over and be a part of this special time. I love you guys very much and the Lord loves you very much and this is one way to express His love to you and little Kara Faith!! Excited to see how God is going to move!! :) He is awesome!!"

Chris shared Acts 3:1-10 with me tonight. Now we are believing for healing for Kara, but ultimately desire God to be glorified in her life just like the man who was lame from birth.

Please visit Chris' blog @ Joyful Mother.

I made this for you today, Kara...

The Doppler Arrived!

Yesterday, my BabyBeat Doppler arrived! This request was fulfilled by my brother, Ed, and his family. We are SO thankful! It took a good 5 minutes and I was getting worried, but I finally found Kara's precious heartbeat. (She was hanging out to the right of my belly button.) I could hear her kicking before I picked up on her heartbeat. We ALL listened for several minutes--Celeste, Dan, Max, Tommy, Eden, & Joshua. (Jamie was away at high school.) We called Daddy (Stu) at work and he could hear, too! I am feeling blessed. I hope to be able to record this and add it to Kara's page, so be looking for that.

"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Phil. 4:6

Cute Little Pregnancy Ticker

Sinking In

Now I'm 17 weeks, 3 days and counting...

So far I have been just living with Kara's diagnosis and letting it be part of me. Sleep is not as elusive the past few nights. We have had some trouble with some family having very different opinions about our choice to let God decide our baby girl's days. Unfortunately, some have removed themselves from our lives. We are praying that God would change their hearts and that we would be a testimony of His grace to them. For the most part, our family, our friends, and our church has been a wonderful support. I think the reason I am feeling such peace is the covering of prayer we are receiving by so many. Thank you!

We saw my personal OB, Dr. M, last week. We still have lots of questions. Again he was not the most encouraging. HPE babies are so rare that he has not delivered one. We were told that the level II special care nursery at my favorite hospital would be adequate for her, but we are still praying about that. (I am really not sure. I would prefer my care be at that hospital, but her care may be best done at a hospital with a level III NICU.)

What we know about our baby girl:
**she has Alobar Holoprosencephaly (HPE)
**at 15.5 weeks, all of her other systems looked normal
**she did not appear to have a cleft lip or palate (which is common in HPE)
**she has two small eyes and we're not sure about her nose yet
**I can feel her moving every day
**she is fearfully and wonderfully made by our Lord

What we don't know:
**Which hospital is best for Kara and me (I am having some anxiety about this.)
**What her respiratory status will be once she is born
**How long we will get to enjoy her sweet spirit (I'm hoping for weeks or more...)
**What conditions she will have that go along with HPE

I am hoping and praying for: a doppler to listen to her heartbeat at home and record it (this is in the works), a 3D/4D ultrasound to have as a keepsake of her time inside me, and for God to work a miracle in her. I go see Dr. M on 9/10 and I have another big ultrasound with the specialist on 9/23. Keep praying!

I am reading and savoring James 5: 7-20. May God bless you this week!

"fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Hurting and Hope

Sleep is elusive. Between our puking Jack Russell and cute Eden in our bed, I am awake in the wee hours. Since Kara's diagnosis I awake at odd hours and my thoughts click on and I can't seem to turn them off. We are hurting. Hurting and wishing for things that may never be. Hurting for there have been things done and said. Sometimes I don't even know what to do with myself. I have taken it to the Lord in prayer and await His response to my grief, my sorrow, my pain. And I believe He answered with this: "but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

"Sweet little babies,
it’s hard to understand it ‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing-
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would…" (Glory Baby by Watermark)

Her Name

Kara Faith comes from:

Kara which means "Pure" and Faith which was given to me after some prayer. God gave me the word Faith and a scripture to go along with it a couple of weeks (8/1/2009) before we knew what we were having or that we would be on this journey of faith. Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." I wrote this note, "For we do not always know where we are going, but we can trust in Him who does." Wow, God is so faithful to meet us at our need!

So, I believe that the gift of Kara Faith is going to take us on a journey of pure faith. I am thankful for a special name for my sweet little girl.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

HPE

Here she is on ultrasound at this appointment. This is her humerus (upper arm).

Our baby girl was diagnosed with Holoprosencephaly (HPE). We saw Dr. Richards at Shands at UF. We weren't given too much information at the time of our appointment. Dr. R drew a picture and wrote the name of it down on a piece of paper. He told us our baby would not live very long once she is born. At almost 16 weeks, her other systems looked normal on the scan, which was good. He didn't detect a cleft lip/palate on the ultrasound. He said that my pregnancy should go to term. A possible problem could be overabundance of amniotic fluid due to the baby having trouble swallowing (polyhydramnios). We ask for specific prayer that this would not happen. We will go back to Shands for another ultrasound with Dr. Richards at 22 weeks. There is so much to tell, but the past few days have been trying. We are praying for a miracle from Jesus for our daughter. If that is not His will, then we are praying that He would transform us through this situation and use our baby girl as a testimony and instrument of His grace.

I have an appointment with my favorite OB this morning. I look forward to it and will try to offer more information. Meanwhile, I'm trusting in God and am thankful for ALL the prayers we are receiving. We really feel them.

What is HPE?