Sunday, February 20, 2011


This coming Saturday, February 26th, is the 1 year mark since Kara Faith flew to Jesus. I really think of it as Friday because that was the true day... Not sure what to do with myself. So much I have wanted to do for her, for me, for the kids, my husband, but things don't allow this. I think sometimes I am just stuck in being sad. I know where she is and I know by the grace of Father God I will see her again when I die, but it still hurts so much NOW. It's hard to fit grieving in with raising my large family, so I've pushed it into this little box and stamped the lid down. That's pretty much where I'm at right now. I want to run away somewhere for a week and deal with all of this, but that's not going to happen. And, I don't know if that would really fix things.  I want to have JOY again. Praying for that daily... and hoping I never fall apart.

It's really hard to grieve when everybody needs you.  (I need them, too.)  There's no time to do it.  In a way, over the past year, that may have been a blessing.  I don't have time to get stuck in it.  I think some people think I should be over this by now.  This is just an impression I have.  If you can't ever "go there" then how do you get "over it."  I will never get over the beautiful gift of life God gave me in my daughter...  I am just learning to fall and walk forward, in faith.

(I'm just calling this" Nancy in the Raw.")

Friday, February 18, 2011

A Tribute

Kara Faith flew to Jesus on 2.26.10.  It was a Friday.  Today, Friday, is one week from the actual one year mark.  We have all been thinking about it.  Yesterday, I received an encouraging phone call from my oldest daughter, Celeste, age 19.  She is going to college in Illinois and is taking a public speaking course.  She starts off telling me that she just left class where she gave a 5 minute speech.  She told me that after the other speeches there was applause.  The topic--Tribute.  I thought she was going to tell me about how she wrote a tribute to her lovely grandmother, Loray Dailey, who was such a magnificent woman.  (She passed away in October 2008 from complications from treatment for RA. Celeste also has this condition.)  But no, my Celeste told me she gave a tribute to her youngest sister, Kara Faith.  She stood in front of a large class and gave testimony to the impact Kara Faith had on her life, and others.  I know how hard that must have been to do without crying.  When Celeste sat down there was no immediate applause.  Half the class was crying...

I am so proud of my daughter, Celeste Marie Dailey.  Thank you for honoring your sister, the Lord, your Mom, and your family.  Celeste said, "In 49 days she had changed more lives than I have in my 19 years. This shows us that it is not the amount of life that we have… but it is how we choose live it."   Kara Faith did this without speaking an audible word.  I love you, Celeste.  You are just as brave as your littlest sister!

Read notes for Celeste's speech here.